Gracious uncertainty

. . . it has not yet been revealed what we shall be . . . -1 John 3:2

We want to feel safe, know what is going on around us, know what the future holds and what it looks like. We want to plan, make goals and work towards checking off all the steps towards completing the objectives that will fulfill our plans and utlimately fulfill our life.

This scripture from the devotional, Gracious Uncertainty, halted my thinking about the future. I have been in a place of contemplation and thinking about plans, what the future looks like, or maybe what I want to be when I grow up. But, mostly I’ve been overtaken by fear of the unknown, wishing things could be settled and all the pieces of the puzzle in place, not only for me, but for friends and family as well. I have felt stifled and somewhat paralized by this fear. This devotion spoke to deep parts of my heart and soul. My safety isn’t in knowing tomorrow, next week or even next month. My safety is my certainty of God. Nothing more. Nothing less. I don’t walk or live this very easily, but I keep rereading this devotion and edging my heart, mind and soul towards the depth of this truth and feeling a stillness begin to root in my soul.

Following is the daily devotion, “Gracious Uncertainty” from my utmost for his highest:

Our natural inclination is to be so precise- trying always to forecast accurately what will happen next- that we look upon uncertainty as a bad thing. We think that we must reach some predetermined goal, but that is not the nature of the spiritual life. The nature of the spiritual life is that we are certain in our uncertainty. Consequently, we do not put down roots. Our common sense says, “Well, what if I were in that circumstance?” We cannot presume to see ourselves in any circumstance in which we have never been.

Certainty is the mark of the commonsense life- gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, not knowing what tomorrow may bring. This is generally expressed with a sigh of sadness, but it should be an expression of breathless expectation. We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God. As soon as we abandon ourselves to God and do the task He has placed closest to us, He begins to fill our lives with surprises. When we become simply a promoter or a defender of a particular belief, something within us dies. That is not believing God - it is only believing our belief about Him. Jesus said, “. . . unless you . . . become as little children . . .” (Matthew 18:3 ). The spiritual life is the life of a child. We are not uncertain of God, just uncertain of what He is going to do next. If our certainty is only in our beliefs, we develop a sense of self-righteousness, become overly critical, and are limited by the view that our beliefs are complete and settled. But when we have the right relationship with God, life is full of spontaneous, joyful uncertainty and expectancy. Jesus said, “. . . believe also in Me” (John 14:1 ), not, “Believe certain things about Me”. Leave everything to Him and it will be gloriously and graciously uncertain how He will come in- but you can be certain that He will come. Remain faithful to Him.

 

 

Wouldn’t you like to be dysfunctional too?

I can’t get the old Dr Pepper ad out of my head for some reason, may be a ’70’s kind of retro day…but it is more fun to change ‘dr pepper’ to ‘dysfunctional’…

5.8 Earthquake…

A lot of shaking in Mexico City!!! But nobody else in our neighborhood ran outside like my family

Civil protection in Mexico City initially reported it as 6.3 on the Richter. USGS reported it as a 5.8 and centered in Guerrero.  …probably the strongest since last April around this time!

a familiar feeling

I know the feeling…
Raw, aching, gnawing inside
I can’t find my words
They’re hiding somewhere

Looking for relief
Hope, happiness and peace
How do I walk there
When I can’t name it

Being real and vulnerable
Hides within,
Behind the face I must live

I’m not there alone
Unspoken doubts and struggles
Expectations not realized

Finding the others
Who choose to be real
Vulnerable, safe and here

We search and ask; who will stay?
Who will know me?
Who will hear?

When our hearts intertwine
Our spirits join in the journey
There is safety together
One with the other

    -plf-

Girls can be catty (how to sabotage a relationship)

Today I realized that I had sabotaged a long term relationship. I had unsettled feelings that kept growing through the years into a definite tension between us and I never honestly or openly addressed it. Our communication has ceased. It is a lost friendship.

What happened? I reacted to her, instead of interacting with her. At some point, my relationship with her turned into reacting to what I was feeling or sensing. I didn’t choose to get to the bottom of what was going on in me: why were things irritating me, why was I reacting negatively and what was triggering my thoughts and feelings. The big questions: why did I let those thoughts and feelings grow to the point that they totally interfered with our relationship and more importantly, why did I have those feelings to begin with? I look back now and know that I lost out on an opportunity of a life-long and meaningful relationship.

I made her the problem. If I allowed myself to see what was going on inside of me, it was quickly covered up and turned back into ’she is so…’, ‘I can’t believe she did that…’, ’she can be so irritating’, ‘if she just wouldn’t do that’, etc. Ahhh, women can be so catty.

When we find ourselves tense, irritated and uncomfortable in a relationship we have to ask ourselves the hard questions. Why am I blaming the other person for the bad relationship? What is it about them that irritates me? And more importantly, what are my feelings trying to show me? What is going on in my life?

Although the work has to be done on an individual basis, we might not realize that there are unhealthy patterns in our life until problems or ‘blow-ups’ happen or until a relationship has ended because it just isn’t worth it anymore.

So, what can we do to avoid harming or sabotaging a relationship? First, figure out what is causing the tension/discomfort that you feel. Pick a specific example and keep asking yourself the ‘why’ questions until you have backed into the root of your feeling. You’ll know it…it will be an ‘ah-ha’ moment and instead of feeling the irritating discomfort towards the person, you’ll feel a sickening feeling in the pit of your stomach as your shoulders sink down in resignation of the ugly truth about yourself…

The problem can’t be fixed until we figure out the real issue. Are you jealous? Are you impatient? One of my personal favs is ‘testing’ people. For years I thought I did it just for the shock value, to get a reaction, you know, shake people up a bit. After all I did have a slight rebellious side in me. That was my reasoning, but the reality was that I was afraid of rejection. If people couldn’t get too close, then they couldn’t reject or hurt me. My thinking: “If they know the true me, what I really think and feel, etc., then they really can’t like me, want to be around me, and could never want to be my friend.” I kept walls up to keep people out and keep from getting hurt.

What else can we do? Put yourself in your friend’s shoes. Try to gain an understanding of where she is coming from and you will gain valuable insight as to why she acts the way she does. Empathy magically blooms patience.

More than likely most of the positive changes that need to take place in a relationship can be fixed by changing our attitudes, behaviors, reactions and interactions. If they can’t, then we might need to address the issue with our friend. But, be prepared, even if you do things ‘right’ in this type of confrontation, your friend might not be able to handle the discussion. You need to weigh the pros and cons of confronting a friend with an issue. If you have been in a dysfunctional relationship, and you become healthy and want to change the way you interact with your friend, she might not be able to make the change with you.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

courage to change the things I can,

and the wisdom to know the difference.

God is in the house!

 

  ”God is in the house!” flashed in my mind as I watched the papal mass by Pope Benedict at Yankee Stadium. I, along with thousands (millions probably) of other people listened to the Pope speak yesterday. Throughout our lives many of us seek something that shows God to us, we want to be able to physically see God. Watching the pomp and ceremony around the Pope’s life and the esteem that is afforded him, causes many to feel like it is as close to God as they could possibly ever get on this earth. It is surreal. Maybe growing up Sunday after Sunday seeing our minister in a robe caused these feelings in me…He just always seemed like a figure bigger than life. His robe was even a different color than everyone else’s, setting him more apart.

Feelings like these have caused tension within me as I have walked in my Christian life. The minister, priest, or rabbi are representations of God; it seems that they should be walking on the clouds above us….like they really aren’t human. They should not make any mistakes, they have to be perfect, after all they do represent God, right?

How do I put a human person in the position of God? I can’t. Those who work as ministers are here to teach, instruct, encourage and guide me in my daily walk in knowing and serving God and all that entails. But, they aren’t perfect. They are human and make mistakes just like other people. Of course, we don’t expect their mistakes to be ‘big’ ones…just small ones. The reality is that they make the same mistakes that ‘normal’ people do; they have the same fears, temptations, failures, pain and suffering that everyone else does. 

In many congregations we see the minister trying to show people that we all walk on the same common ground and make mistakes…that the minister is a normal person just like everyone else. The only thing that sets him (or her) apart is a call/burden of God upon his heart and life to dedicate his work to that of being a minister. This is the other side of my ”God is in the house”/clergy robe tension. We want our minister to be a ‘better’ person than we are. After all he is closer to God than us. Yet, if he looks too much like us or sounds too real, vulnerable, or human, does it leave us wondering where the holiness of God is or can it be found?

My quandary sends me back to grace and humanity. We all fall short and make mistakes, even ministers. A minister or teacher who can teach me how to walk through life in a practical sense; how to walk through pain and suffering, how to get up and keep going after being knocked down, how to continue in the faith after failure and mistakes and how to be present with and for others as they do the same, shows me how to find Him in His holiness. 

The robe really doesn’t matter, neither does the liturgical presentation…God is in the house all the time and everywhere… 

Lessons on bribing…US $2.58 billion’s worth…

That is what was spent in 2007 on bribes in Mexico. This was reported by a non-profit group Transparency Mexico, after interviewing 16,000 people in December, 2007.  Transparency Mexico is a division of Transparency International, a non-profit organization that works to end corruption. After reading the article I have learned that some of the expenses that we incur here on a regular basis are actually considered bribes. Who knew?

For example, my tip to a parking attendant could actually be a tip to pay off an informal parking attendant/private citizen who blocks off sections of a public street and in turn pays the police for allowing him to earn money from his parking spaces. Another one is tipping the trash collectors, which is actually paying for a service that the city provides. We also find that we will pay an attendant in store parking areas just so he won’t damage or harm our car.

Those are little examples, but bribes are reported to take up to 8% or 9% of a families income and are routinely paid to insure that what should take place automatically is actually done.

It is invasive in the culture; for many, it is the price of doing business and for others it is part of daily life.

Here are a few of the top 10 most frequent bribes listed in the USA today article: money given to investigators to file crime reports, money given to trucks to deliver drinking water to poor neighborhoods, money paid to get trash collected, money paid to get goods passed through customs, and money paid to get cars out of impound lots after they have been towed.

 

A Blog Party? What in the world????

That was my first question…what is a blog party? For those of us who connect on the internet it is a way to meet other bloggers and it’s how we party long-distance.

 We’re all invited to a blog party hosted by Sharon Snavely, creator and developer of the Assembly of God blog ring. They’re even giving away door prizes, can you believe it? So, if you want to party the internet way, join up!!!!

Hey, I’ll use any excuse for cake and ice cream….

Updated travel alert for Mexico and ministry team questions

The US Department of State has just updated the travel alert for Mexico. The main focus of the advisory is violent criminal activity along the border areas between drug cartels. Tijuana, Chihuahua City, Ciudad Juarez, Nuevo Laredo and Matamoros were specifically mentioned in the alert. The targets of the violence are usually those involved in the drug war, however innocent victims, both Mexican and foreigners have been caught in the middle of the fighting and incidents of violence not related to the drug wars are rising:

Armed robberies and carjackings, apparently unconnected to the narcotics-related violence, have increased in Tijuana and Ciudad Juarez.  Dozens of U.S. citizens were kidnapped and/or murdered in Tijuana in 2007.  Public shootouts have occurred during daylight hours near shopping areas. 

President Calderon recently sent an additional 2,500 troops to Ciudad Juarez to fight the drug war and establish law and order in the border town of Ciudad Juarez where it is reported that over 200 people have been killed since Jan 1. Pictures and televised reports from Ciudad Juarez made it look like a war zone. The current violence is believed to be in response to an already 25,000 troops deployed by President Calderon late last year in an attempt to combat the escalating violence between criminal organizations. As of March, 720 people have lost their lives in the drug wars.

I’m posting this info because of a recent experience with a team of young people from a church in the US. The team was advised not to travel and work in a certain area along the border due to the current situation. Although the travel alert was just updated by the state department, those who live near the border as well as all of us who watch the news have been very aware of and alarmed by the growing state of unrest and violence in these areas. The team proceeded with their plans instead of traveling to other safer areas which were suggested to them and they were advised to do.

Why would parents and church leadership allow their teenagers to be sent into an area of known danger when there are safer options? We know that adults make decisions about living and working in dangerous areas or areas not friendly to Christian groups. However, as adults, they are entering those situations with full knowledge of what they are doing. 

Can teenagers fully understand what they are committing to? And is it worth only 5-9 days in a potentially unsafe situation? As far as we know, they returned safely, but what would have happened if just one of their team members would have been robbed, kidnapped and held for ransom, raped, tortured, or killed in gun crossfire? Did the church leadership take the easy way out, not wanting to incur the time and expense involved with changing airline tickets, and maybe losing the profit that many make when they run these teams?

Accidents can happen regardless of how well one plans and how much care is taken. But, do you willingly and knowingly send young people into areas of concern? Aren’t there a million other areas that are safer and could use some extra hands of help, like Oaxaca, Guadalajara, or even New Orleans ? I don’t know how to reconcile the spiritual, the ‘we feel right about this in our spirit’ with the practical and common sense…

“Coming out” on faith…

                                           

    Hillary Clinton              Barack Obama                 John McCain                   

      Methodist             United Church of Christ        Episcopalian

The Democrats are finally coming out of the closet with their faith. Both Clinton and Obama participated in the Faith in Public Life’s Compassion Forum at Messiah College last night, aired on CNN. McCain was invited, but did not participate. I agree that faith is personal and you don’t have to wear your faith on your sleeve, as some have said. Yet, I am relieved and happy to hear that those who have a relationship with God are openly speaking about their faith, values and formation of moral principles.

Evangelicals have definitely seemed to lean towards the Republican Party and have been open and vocal about any candidate for any office having to pass a litmus test on abortion and homosexuality to gain their support. Democrats, on the other hand, have seemed to be very quiet in the public arena about their faith, while at the same time working in a more vocal way for human rights, social justice and other areas that are important to people of faith, yet they may not always meet the very limited ‘test of faith’ that many use to qualify or disqualify political leadership.

As a Christian, my values and beliefs walk with me in any situation, they form and shape the basis upon which I live, work and face life. That doesn’t mean that I can or should judge, belittle or think less of those whose belief system is not the same as mine. I don’t push my beliefs in someone’s face. God cares about the dignity and respect for all human beings, His creation, and I want to do the same.

Tolerance has become a bad word in many arenas, as grace and mercy are overlooked. How can being abrupt and dismissive of others who think or behave differently than us, be Christ like? One of the most important life lessons that I have learned is that it is not my job to tell people where they are falling short, what they have to do in order to become a more ‘perfect’ Christian or shy away from them if they don’t change or adjust their thinking to line up with my beliefs. The work of change in another person’s life is the work of God, through His spirit, power, and love.  It is my responsibility to love people where they are and who they are and to walk with them in their journey as they make their own decisions in life.

So, I didn’t really ‘come out’ regarding my personal political affiliation, but it doesn’t really matter anyway